There is a way to calm emotional waters in your intimate relationships, and in the world, without repressing or avoiding the truth – The Wisdom Keepers Oracle.
The thing about finding your voice after being silent, (or suppressed), for so long is that you stumble a lot along the way.
When you’re learning to speak, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll make mistakes.
That you’ll speak too loud.
That you’ll be too eager to speak that you’ll interrupt and cut people off.
That you’ll use words that later on you’ll wish you could take back.
One of the biggest lessons is practicing how to speak your truth without wielding it like a weapon
So how do you find the balance to speak up when you’re hurt, without hurting the other person back with your words?
How do you express your truth, without using it as a sword to cut down the person who hurt you?
To take this question one level deeper:
Is it possible that while you hold the conscious intention to make your voice heard, on an unconscious level, some part of you wants to make the other person feel bad, tear them down, or assert you superiority?
How do you speak up for your inner child, the part of you that needs protecting, without attacking the person who harmed you?
Wisdom from the Wisdom Keeper’s Oracle
In the guidebook for this deck, Rosy Aronson says about Diplomacy, “I am here to invite you to drop your defenses.”
That’s the first sentence, and I think rightly so. As long as we’re defensive and on guard, it’s difficult to speak from a place of emotional awareness.
Our truths are often rooted in hurt, but spoken in anger
What would it feel like to express the hurt, instead of the anger? To say, “This hurt me because…” or “I felt bad when you did this because…”
It’s so much harder, isn’t it? It’s easier to express outrage than it is to express pain.
Anger is one of the best defenses our psyche employs to keep us from feeling pain.
And it works well.
But the thing about humans is when we’re attacked, we’re more likely to attack back or shut down. Humans are inherently wired to block out criticism they feel is unjustified.
So the way to get you to hear me is not by trying to show you how bad you are. It’s by showing you how I’m feeling. Because while most of us need a lifetime to practice accepting criticism, we’re thankfully gifted with an overabundance of empathy and care, especially when we see each other hurting.
So, yeah, maybe humanity isn’t as horrible as we think it is … with some exceptions.
And maybe people aren’t as bad as we think they are … with some exceptions.
Maybe we just need to change our approach. Speak honestly, but with care. Stand up for ourselves, but without making the other person feel small.