A Spiritual Approach to the Ego Mind

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Sometimes it's not that you need more. Sometimes you're just too afraid to use what you already have.

Sometimes you have all the tools you need – maybe even more than enough. But instead of using them, instead of stepping out into the world and trying to create something beautiful, you cling to your tools, afraid that if you use them, they'll run out or get damaged.

So you take all the blessings Life has given you, and put them up on a shelf where they're guaranteed to remain in "perfect" condition. Then you wonder why you're not growing and why you feel stuck.

The Card: 4 of Pentacles

The Rider Waite Smith version of the 4 of Pents card shows a king clutching onto his coins like his life depends on it. Two coins are under his feet, blocking his connection to Earth – the root of all life and the source of stability.

One coin is held tightly to his chest, blocking his emotional capacity to connect with others.

And the last one sits delicately on his head, blocking his crown chakra – his connection with the universe and his ability to receive divine wisdom and guidance.

He has so much and yet he ultimately has nothing because in reality, he's stuck in place. He can't get up. He can't move. He can't do anything for fear that his precious coins will fall and be lost.

And he represents all the parts of yourself that opt out of growth because they're too focused on keeping everything just right.

The Message

The message of the 4 of Pents is simple:

Your desire for perfection is blocking your connection with the Divine. And your desire to control everything will stunt your growth.

Let me explain a bit further.

When you feel lost or ungrounded, it's not because your magic has left you.

Your magic is your birthright.

You, dear reader, have pure, unadulterated magic surging through your veins. And unlike the coins in the card above, your magic can never be taken away from you by anyone, because it was not given to you by any human. It lives in your soul and is an ancient as the universe itself.

So when you feel lost, it's never because your magic has left you. God/Spirit/your highest self will never desert you. If you're feeling ungrounded, it's because you've allowed other objects to become your focus.

In short, you've lost sight of the spiritual in pursuit of the material.

The King in the 4 of Pents card is concerned with how he looks and how people perceive him. He does nothing with all the resources that Life has given him because his ego cares more about possessing them.

See, growth is scary. It requires us to risk failure, to risk loss, to risk people thinking we're making a mistake, to risk late nights when we can't sleep because we're fucking terrified that we're going down the wrong path.

So when you're overly concerned with public perception, it feels like a safer choice to sacrifice growth, stay exactly where you are, and keep your image intact.

And it might feel safer, but then you'll simply end up like our King: having more than enough knowledge, and skills, and resources, but doing absolutely nothing with it. And that, dear reader, is not a life lived at all. It's a mere existence.

Reconnecting with the Spiritual over the Material

If these words resonate with you, and if you feel like your ego identity has been blocking your spiritual connection, here's a few practices you can do to shift your focus:

  • Articulate to yourself what you're afraid of. Because ultimately, a desire for control is really just an inability to trust in Life that's borne out of fear. So get really honest with yourself. Maybe you're holding yourself back because you're worried that if you speak, you won't sound smart. Maybe you're worried you don't have anything valuable to contribute. Maybe you're worried that people won't like you.
  • Once you've named the "coins" that you're holding onto too tightly, take a deep breath and imagine what it would be like to let them go. What would be left if you stripped the material away and were left with just your essence – your glorious, radiant, magical, divine essence? Where would your sense of self come from? What would your identity be?
Journal prompt: Who are you really if you stop trying to control and plan every little thing?

So I hope this reading helps you go deeper in your self-exploration journey. Until next time, wishing you peace and contentment, and absolute faith in the magic that is you!